Here’s why getting them helped me reclaim my body — My mother hates tattoos. I’ve always been drawn to them. The art and the very personal form of expression. But, I waited until I was almost in my 40s to get my first one. She tells me that I look like a hussy and a two-bit whore; she reminds me…

Coercive control is similar to psychological torture — It’s a misconception that a “trauma bond” means a woman is bonded to her trauma — she isn’t. She’s not in love with her captor or attached to being beaten. She’s been conditioned over time to accept it, to expect it, to believe she deserves it. She’s been broken down…

Twisting fact and fiction for power and control. — “Gaslighting” stems from a 1930’s play called Gas Light. In it, the main character is ultimately trying to convince his wife that she’s going insane by dimming the gas lights in their home ever so slowly while convincing her the darkening house is all in her imagination. Later, the play…

Breadcrumbs will look like a meal to someone who is starving. — Breadcrumbing is a behavior in which one person provides just enough energy, time, attention, affection, or affirming words to another person to supply some elements of being in a relationship. The other person, though, is left wanting. I’ve seen breadcrumbing described as a form of manipulation, and I agree. I…

Processing unexpected feelings of loss — I’m recovering from a total hysterectomy. I waited more than a year for the surgery after cancer was discovered. I’m very relieved that the surgery is done; I’m cancer-free and healing. I expected pain as part of recovery, and I educated myself on the possible complications of the surgery. I…

Healing one day at a time, without you. — The sun set tonight. It was fiery and orange and bright and beautiful. It will rise again tomorrow just like it always does. I’ll get up stretch and shower, I have this new shampoo I love, that smells amazing — you would’ve liked it too. You loved putting your hands…

Can I learn to trust again? — There are days when I truly miss having a romantic partner. I would love someone to share the day-to-day, head out on fun adventures, and experience life with. On those days, I think I might be ready. Healing isn’t linear, and if I wait until every wound has a well-healed…

Breaking the cycle of generational abuse — My son came into my room one night before bed and asked if we could talk. This wasn’t unusual as he often comes in to say goodnight when he gets home and catches me up on his day. He had just got back from watching Disney’s new animated film “Encanto”…

A poem — Tiny little deaths, are the moments where I realize I’m no longer who I was. I’ve changed. The old me has been cut away, the layers of everything I thought to be true about myself have been taken piece by piece. I am present in this moment. I feel grounded in…